This is an interesting topic that I constantly hear about so I decided to blog on it. There is a fundamental difference between men and women that I always noticed. Women think its okay to put a man in a friend zone. Well women, its not okay. Its bullshit actually. I see women all the time creating "boundaries" they expect men to adhere to. For example, he is my friend so we can't have sex but we can chill/hangout and go on "friendly dates". What the hell kind of crap is that?? That is like winning the lottery and then the following week dying. Its not fair. Unfortunately for you, men do not think that way at all. This situation is most difficult when a man has gone out of the way to ask you for your number if he meets you somewhere random. Once a man is going to ask you for your number he doesn't sit there thinking oh I can't wait to be this girls friend or man this girl is gonna make a great friend. There is only a few things he is thinking and none of that is related to friendship. Therefore, give the guy a chance and don't automatically put him in a friendship label.
Women always think they have a choice as to whether they can put a man in a friend zone and he has to stay there. Well sorry that shit never works for me. Unless we mutually decide to be friends be prepared to continue to be romanced to the point you begin to actually like me. I have been very successful in this tactic. Women need to realize they have to leave the door open to more possibilities or risk losing a great guy because you kept him as a friend and he got fed up with your placement of him in that friend zone. Too many times I see women with loser guys that they are not compatible with when they have a great guy under their nose that is a "friend". They always use the same excuse oh I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with (insert name here). That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Men are willing to jeopardize their friendship with a female for a lot less like Tim Hortons coffee, beer or sex. So why not just take a chance on it too.
The thing is you can't help who you like. Hence, Sandra Bullock and that Jesse James character. If you keep someone as a friend long enough and they are interested in you eventually they will get frustrated by the relationship and you are guaranteed to lose a person who was probably a great friend and would have been an even better boyfriend/girlfriend.
Anyway, the point I'm making is that if you deep down in your heart are even the least bit interested in someone called a "friend" give it a shot. You only live once besides men and women never make good friends and statistically speaking friendships between the opposite sex lasts significantly shorter than same sex friendships so you are really not losing anything. Sorry, I just made up those statistics. But it seems logical right.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Blogging My Second Date....How To Know If Your Date Is Going Well/Likes You
So I went on another date and decided as usual to blog about it. This was much more enjoyable then the previous infamous double date The reason I know it went well is because I have series of sings that tell me how well a date is gong. That being said I thought that it would be important to post these series of signs that help you know your date is going well.
1. She makes physical contact during the date
Small gestures like briefly touching your hand or your arm. Or legs rubbing against each other – more than can be considered coincidental. Physical contact is a sign someone feels comfortable with you and would like that physical contact. Not necessarily sex, so don’t get all excited and ask the waiter where the nearest place to get condoms is or open up the doors to the Ramping Shop. The touches are simply her way of letting you know she likes you.
.....My date did touch me multiple times and did did rub her legs against mine
2.Flow of conversation.
This isn’t always a good indicator – if she is nervous it may make her affect her, but generally if the conversations flow equally. So you are both talking – not you talking and her listening. Then it’s going well. For this one though you need to have at least 2 of the other signs. It is possible to meet someone who you can talk to but not be attracted to.
..... Conversation on my date was good. There were no long awkward pauses
3.There are references made to things she would like to show you.
Movies she would like so see with you or people she would like you to meet. This is a pretty obvious sign that she does see things progressing to the next level. Don’t panic - she isn’t picking out the china just yet.
.....She mentioned wanting to see Iron Man 2
4. She gives you a hug and/or kiss when you say goodbye. Doesn’t have to be a full on, tongue-down-throat-kiss. Can be a simple lip kiss. Take her lead on this one and don’t try shove your tongue between her pursed lips – you will go from hero to zero in 10 seconds! The kiss and/or hug is enough of a sign that she is likes you.
.....A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. So since I'm not a gentleman so I will tell you I got one of the two.
5. She shares personal information about herself. Things like her family, her childhood, where she lives. Again a sign she is comfortable enough with you to share those things. It’s also a sign she is willing to be open with you.......This was hard to assess because she is generally an open person. So the stuff she told me I took it lightly
6. She is in no hurry to leave. If she lingers between courses, orders a second cup of coffee (or another bottle of wine). She is having a good time and doesn’t want to leave but doesn’t want to tell you that just yet, as she possible isn’t sure how you feel. So she tries to extend the meal for as long as she can. .....We went to two different places ie my secret dating place and dinner. Though the original plan was to only go to one place. Therefore, she was obviously in no rush to go home.
7. Eye contact.
Eye contact is vital. If she looks at you and can hold the eye contact she is definitely interested. Eyes tell a lot about people and she is trying to read you. Try not to look away. Hold her eyes (not literally). We did make eye contact numerous times. Then she would laugh wait does that mean she was laughing at me??
8. She is genuinely enjoying the date and pays attention to you
It is nor uncommon to find people on dates who spend more time on their blackberry as I learned the last time. However, if she seems to enjoying herself with multiple laughs and seems engaged then you are in a good place. However, try to be more interesting then her phone. The key with making a date interesting is that if she was unsure whether she liked you before an interesting date will make her come back to you again and will also tilt the scales in your favour. .....She seemed really engaged plus I'm a really funny person so its not hard to make a date enjoyable for me. Does that sound cocky? Who Cares.
1. She makes physical contact during the date
Small gestures like briefly touching your hand or your arm. Or legs rubbing against each other – more than can be considered coincidental. Physical contact is a sign someone feels comfortable with you and would like that physical contact. Not necessarily sex, so don’t get all excited and ask the waiter where the nearest place to get condoms is or open up the doors to the Ramping Shop. The touches are simply her way of letting you know she likes you.
.....My date did touch me multiple times and did did rub her legs against mine
2.Flow of conversation.
This isn’t always a good indicator – if she is nervous it may make her affect her, but generally if the conversations flow equally. So you are both talking – not you talking and her listening. Then it’s going well. For this one though you need to have at least 2 of the other signs. It is possible to meet someone who you can talk to but not be attracted to.
..... Conversation on my date was good. There were no long awkward pauses
3.There are references made to things she would like to show you.
Movies she would like so see with you or people she would like you to meet. This is a pretty obvious sign that she does see things progressing to the next level. Don’t panic - she isn’t picking out the china just yet.
.....She mentioned wanting to see Iron Man 2
4. She gives you a hug and/or kiss when you say goodbye. Doesn’t have to be a full on, tongue-down-throat-kiss. Can be a simple lip kiss. Take her lead on this one and don’t try shove your tongue between her pursed lips – you will go from hero to zero in 10 seconds! The kiss and/or hug is enough of a sign that she is likes you.
.....A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. So since I'm not a gentleman so I will tell you I got one of the two.
5. She shares personal information about herself. Things like her family, her childhood, where she lives. Again a sign she is comfortable enough with you to share those things. It’s also a sign she is willing to be open with you.......This was hard to assess because she is generally an open person. So the stuff she told me I took it lightly
6. She is in no hurry to leave. If she lingers between courses, orders a second cup of coffee (or another bottle of wine). She is having a good time and doesn’t want to leave but doesn’t want to tell you that just yet, as she possible isn’t sure how you feel. So she tries to extend the meal for as long as she can. .....We went to two different places ie my secret dating place and dinner. Though the original plan was to only go to one place. Therefore, she was obviously in no rush to go home.
7. Eye contact.
Eye contact is vital. If she looks at you and can hold the eye contact she is definitely interested. Eyes tell a lot about people and she is trying to read you. Try not to look away. Hold her eyes (not literally). We did make eye contact numerous times. Then she would laugh wait does that mean she was laughing at me??
8. She is genuinely enjoying the date and pays attention to you
It is nor uncommon to find people on dates who spend more time on their blackberry as I learned the last time. However, if she seems to enjoying herself with multiple laughs and seems engaged then you are in a good place. However, try to be more interesting then her phone. The key with making a date interesting is that if she was unsure whether she liked you before an interesting date will make her come back to you again and will also tilt the scales in your favour. .....She seemed really engaged plus I'm a really funny person so its not hard to make a date enjoyable for me. Does that sound cocky? Who Cares.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sex On The First Date???? Ummmm Sure
There is always two perspective and standards in regards to this topic. Usually women who give it up on first date are seen as hos or labelled as “easy.” Meanwhile, men are labelled as players for behaving in the same manner. Do I agree with this? Not necessarily but such as life and therefore double standards exist which me should probably do something about but don’t. That being said, I will look at these two dynamics without bias.
If you’re a woman, should you have sex on the first date? No you shouldn’t. However, as usual what I say is just my opinion. There are reasons to this madness though. First of all guys talk, and the moment you have sex with him all his friends know and your name is going to get around as the girl that’s easy. Therefore, guys won’t really want to go out with you but they would merely try and date you with the hopes of smashing. If you really have respect for yourself then you won’t do it.
Moreover, it takes away the challenge for guys and the whole mystique. Part of the fun of finally having sex with someone is the actual chase. When that’s’ gone its not the same. Well I lie it still is the same but there is less fun in it. To the women who do it because they hope guys will like them more (I don’t want to sound like an after school special) but…….that is stupid and your eventually going to be on Maury Povich.
To all the guys who have do that. Congratulations. However, just remember this, would you want someone to do that to your sister, or mom or aunt? Also, if you smashed on the first date how many people do you think she’s done that with already. Wait, was this too bias?
This doesn’t mean a woman can’t act like men and have sex with guys on the first date if she really wants to. She just has to be prepared for the consequences and repercussions like the rumours and the gossip.
The challenge of course is willpower. I confess to getting a lot of pleasure out of convincing women to go back on their insistence that "there's NO way we're having sex tonight." Having done precisely what I'm describing above—bringing out my best in hopes of bringing out their wildest—I can't help but relish it if my date caves on her early commitment. But you know what? It made the actual act better for me—and the evening more fun overall. And for her? She got a few hours of me trying my hardest, and probably got better boot-knocking than she would have had we just sloshed back to my place and done it. Even if you find yourself saying yes after an evening of saying no, your time in bed (and the date as a whole) will benefit from whatever deferral you were able to muster. The fact is: If you're compatible, you'll eventually make it to sex, but the longer you put it off (as long as nobody is getting too impatient), the better you'll be at all the non-sexual parts of loving—all the stuff that adds and enriches the sublime dance—and that will pay dividends down the line.
If you’re a woman, should you have sex on the first date? No you shouldn’t. However, as usual what I say is just my opinion. There are reasons to this madness though. First of all guys talk, and the moment you have sex with him all his friends know and your name is going to get around as the girl that’s easy. Therefore, guys won’t really want to go out with you but they would merely try and date you with the hopes of smashing. If you really have respect for yourself then you won’t do it.
Moreover, it takes away the challenge for guys and the whole mystique. Part of the fun of finally having sex with someone is the actual chase. When that’s’ gone its not the same. Well I lie it still is the same but there is less fun in it. To the women who do it because they hope guys will like them more (I don’t want to sound like an after school special) but…….that is stupid and your eventually going to be on Maury Povich.
To all the guys who have do that. Congratulations. However, just remember this, would you want someone to do that to your sister, or mom or aunt? Also, if you smashed on the first date how many people do you think she’s done that with already. Wait, was this too bias?
This doesn’t mean a woman can’t act like men and have sex with guys on the first date if she really wants to. She just has to be prepared for the consequences and repercussions like the rumours and the gossip.
The challenge of course is willpower. I confess to getting a lot of pleasure out of convincing women to go back on their insistence that "there's NO way we're having sex tonight." Having done precisely what I'm describing above—bringing out my best in hopes of bringing out their wildest—I can't help but relish it if my date caves on her early commitment. But you know what? It made the actual act better for me—and the evening more fun overall. And for her? She got a few hours of me trying my hardest, and probably got better boot-knocking than she would have had we just sloshed back to my place and done it. Even if you find yourself saying yes after an evening of saying no, your time in bed (and the date as a whole) will benefit from whatever deferral you were able to muster. The fact is: If you're compatible, you'll eventually make it to sex, but the longer you put it off (as long as nobody is getting too impatient), the better you'll be at all the non-sexual parts of loving—all the stuff that adds and enriches the sublime dance—and that will pay dividends down the line.
Who Goes On Double Date Just To Blog On It.......I DO!!!!
Double Dates
So I recently went on a double date with the purpose of blogging about it. My date, I met back in December and took her number around the same time but I never even called her till mid January. (More on when to call after getting a number later) Anyway, she had a very hot friend that I thought my friend would want to talk to so hence the double date. The most important thing to remember in a double date is everyone needs to have a good time. One couple not having a good time can ruin the other couple’s chemistry. It is also important to not outshine anyone else. For instance, don’t try and monopolize the conversation which may make your friend look really quiet. Anyway let’s see if I follow my own guidelines.
My boy and I picked up the ladies about 30 minutes late. Unfortunately, it was Peel Regional Polices fault because I was pulled over and detained I should have known that this was going to be a bad idea. Since we were already late we didn’t get to the movie in time. Before going to the movie these two females wanted us to run a footrace to the movie theatre doors. What are we 5? Obviously I didn’t partake in it because I thought it was immature. In theatre, these girls talked and screamed throughout the movie The Crazies even though I didn’t think it was that crazy or scary. The ending was crap. So after the movie we went to Demetrys the infamous desert spot. Dates are won and lost on conversation. Good conversation is always important for chemistry. On this day its becoming obvious that the Black Berry is killing conversation. These two females were constantly on their black berry messenger actually messaging each other. The best part of the evening was when they went to the washroom together to talk about us, simultaneously, giving me and my boy a chance to strategize and decide if we should leave early. We did not and continued to engage in conversation.
During the ride home my boy asked my date what her friend though of him and her response was well she went out with you in public so she must like you which my boy found hilarious since it was more the other way around.
So I dropped everyone home leaving my date last as to get some alone time with her and to give her flowers I had in my trunk. I purposely left them there as to not make my boy look bad since he didn’t’ give his date anything.
Overall, despite the immaturity of the ladies I gave it an overall of a 6.5/10. The reason I say that is because the ladies were not really ones I would go out with. I know this sounds cocky but they weren’t on me and my boy’s level. They were really ghetto. However, their bodies boosted the score and the date wasn’t a disaster.
So I recently went on a double date with the purpose of blogging about it. My date, I met back in December and took her number around the same time but I never even called her till mid January. (More on when to call after getting a number later) Anyway, she had a very hot friend that I thought my friend would want to talk to so hence the double date. The most important thing to remember in a double date is everyone needs to have a good time. One couple not having a good time can ruin the other couple’s chemistry. It is also important to not outshine anyone else. For instance, don’t try and monopolize the conversation which may make your friend look really quiet. Anyway let’s see if I follow my own guidelines.
My boy and I picked up the ladies about 30 minutes late. Unfortunately, it was Peel Regional Polices fault because I was pulled over and detained I should have known that this was going to be a bad idea. Since we were already late we didn’t get to the movie in time. Before going to the movie these two females wanted us to run a footrace to the movie theatre doors. What are we 5? Obviously I didn’t partake in it because I thought it was immature. In theatre, these girls talked and screamed throughout the movie The Crazies even though I didn’t think it was that crazy or scary. The ending was crap. So after the movie we went to Demetrys the infamous desert spot. Dates are won and lost on conversation. Good conversation is always important for chemistry. On this day its becoming obvious that the Black Berry is killing conversation. These two females were constantly on their black berry messenger actually messaging each other. The best part of the evening was when they went to the washroom together to talk about us, simultaneously, giving me and my boy a chance to strategize and decide if we should leave early. We did not and continued to engage in conversation.
During the ride home my boy asked my date what her friend though of him and her response was well she went out with you in public so she must like you which my boy found hilarious since it was more the other way around.
So I dropped everyone home leaving my date last as to get some alone time with her and to give her flowers I had in my trunk. I purposely left them there as to not make my boy look bad since he didn’t’ give his date anything.
Overall, despite the immaturity of the ladies I gave it an overall of a 6.5/10. The reason I say that is because the ladies were not really ones I would go out with. I know this sounds cocky but they weren’t on me and my boy’s level. They were really ghetto. However, their bodies boosted the score and the date wasn’t a disaster.
Breaking Down The Game....Vol. 3..Steve Francis Syndrome
Steve Francis Syndrome
Every once in a while there are individuals who believe they are so great that they won’t want to play for your team. This is the Steve Francis Syndrome. Don’t let this happen to you in your pursuit of a high pick make sure you make yourself attractive enough to them so they will want to play for you or else you will get burned like the Vancouver Grizzlies. Sadly when people behave like my Francis did like they are the greatest thing ever it comes back to haunt them. After everything he did Francis only lasted like six seasons and now no one will sign him because of his injury. So Karma is a female dog.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Breaking Down The Game....Vol. 2...Rankings/Sleeper Picks
Rankings
The ranking part of the draft is actually quite complex. Individuals can be ranked from first round to second round based on a variety of traits and particularly what you yourself are looking for. For example, someone like Halle Berry would be a number 1 pick many men desire her, however, only one lucky person can get her. The interesting part of the ranking is unlike in sports where a crappy team gets a good pick, in life you need to have good game to attract a number one to your team or you yourself have to be very desirable. Basically what I’m saying is that people often form relationships with someone within their league. However, as usual, everything I say is not set in stone, just permanent marker therefore it is possible for someone with nothing going for them could score a hot chick/dude. For instance, look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Durpri he gave hope to short unattractive people everywhere because he got Janet Jackson. There are a multitude of personalities or traits that will influence what you consider someone who is a top ten pick.
Sleeper Picks and Potential
Like the draft there are things that can never be accounted for that potential mess things up. Remember Michael Jordan wasn’t even drafted as number 1 overall and he ended up being the best player ever. A person with greater potential maybe overlooked by individuals of the opposite sex, however, if you see something no one else sees you can easily luck out and end up with someone you are very happy with. Remember Ryan Miller from the Olympics he was selected in the Fifth Round but who is now consi For instance, if your boyfriend is broke but he is doing an MBA for instance his potential income is higher than the guy who works customer service at Apple. If you weigh income as very significant its obvious who you go after. Remember there are many sleeper picks who may not be the most attractive options at first glance but end up exceeding everyone's expectations such as Whoopi Goldberg and Seal.
The ranking part of the draft is actually quite complex. Individuals can be ranked from first round to second round based on a variety of traits and particularly what you yourself are looking for. For example, someone like Halle Berry would be a number 1 pick many men desire her, however, only one lucky person can get her. The interesting part of the ranking is unlike in sports where a crappy team gets a good pick, in life you need to have good game to attract a number one to your team or you yourself have to be very desirable. Basically what I’m saying is that people often form relationships with someone within their league. However, as usual, everything I say is not set in stone, just permanent marker therefore it is possible for someone with nothing going for them could score a hot chick/dude. For instance, look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Durpri he gave hope to short unattractive people everywhere because he got Janet Jackson. There are a multitude of personalities or traits that will influence what you consider someone who is a top ten pick.
Sleeper Picks and Potential
Like the draft there are things that can never be accounted for that potential mess things up. Remember Michael Jordan wasn’t even drafted as number 1 overall and he ended up being the best player ever. A person with greater potential maybe overlooked by individuals of the opposite sex, however, if you see something no one else sees you can easily luck out and end up with someone you are very happy with. Remember Ryan Miller from the Olympics he was selected in the Fifth Round but who is now consi For instance, if your boyfriend is broke but he is doing an MBA for instance his potential income is higher than the guy who works customer service at Apple. If you weigh income as very significant its obvious who you go after. Remember there are many sleeper picks who may not be the most attractive options at first glance but end up exceeding everyone's expectations such as Whoopi Goldberg and Seal.
Breaking Down The Game....Vol. 1..Scouting/Training
Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend is kind of a like any sports draft. Before you put the person on your team aka make them your boyfriend/girlfriend there is a lot of stuff that must be done.
Scouting
During the period where you are getting to know them you are actually watching them to see how they would perform and behave in certain situations. In some cases you have been watching them for a while.
Training Days
These are normally the initial dates that are used to see if this person really is a good fit for you/your team. Sometimes people perform badly in these initial dates and end up being disregarded. In this stage, therefore patience is a virtue. You don’t want to get rid of someone before they really show what they can do. However, assuming the dates are going horribly get rid of the person and scout some new players. .
Scouting
During the period where you are getting to know them you are actually watching them to see how they would perform and behave in certain situations. In some cases you have been watching them for a while.
Training Days
These are normally the initial dates that are used to see if this person really is a good fit for you/your team. Sometimes people perform badly in these initial dates and end up being disregarded. In this stage, therefore patience is a virtue. You don’t want to get rid of someone before they really show what they can do. However, assuming the dates are going horribly get rid of the person and scout some new players. .
O.P.P.
OPP stands for Other People’s Property which means if something belongs to someone else don’t touch it. Basically, I’m talking about those people that specifically go after a person who already has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Why do people even do that? Nine times out of ten the person won’t leave their original boyfriend/girlfriend to start a relationship with you. More times, you become just a person on the side. Are you proud of yourself?
THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IF YOUR THE PERSON ON THE SIDE
1.Writing implicit Facebook messages on the wall of the person you are having an affair with.
2.Trying to get some public display of affection. Even Bill Clinton never kissed Monica Lewinksy in public.
3.Stalking people aka calling multiple times per day, showing up unannounced or without an invite. If he/she didn’t answer the first time why do you think if you call from a private number they will answer?
4.Telling him you are pregnant especially when you know you really are not.
5. Getting upset when he/she starts hanging out with their actual boyfriend/girlfriend/partner more than you. This is called the OJ Simpson Affect.
In case you wondered where the title of this blog came from...Here's some old school for you
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