6. If it's a blind date, DON'T compare yourself to anyone famous, looks-wise.
Now we all know this never works the way we'd like it to. Sure, most of us all have someone famous we're compared to. With me, it's usually Jodie Foster meets Gillian Anderson. I can live with that. But personality-wise, apparently I'm Carla from Cheers, Mrs. Roper, and Elaine from Seinfeld all rolled into one. Those comparisons are obviously wrong...Ha! My point? Most people look like a more slightly skewed version of these famous stars. I have never met anyone who really looked like the fabulous celebrity they said they looked like. So proceed with caution. Unless, of course, you are drop dead gorgeous, then you can say the famous ones look like you...
7. DON'T check out other people!
Ah, nothing is more that a turn-off than to be out on a date with someone and notice him checking out the girl with the cleavage right in front of your face! It might not happen often, and it's usually another sign of insecurity, but if it does, I usually try to have a smart alecky comment handy, maybe something like "you know, if you hurry, you can get that girl to autograph the bucket of drool that's accumulating as we speak. Go ahead, I'll wait..."
8. DON'T drink too much!
The best example I can think of is to rent that classic gem 'Blind date' with Kim Basinger and Bruce Willis. She's the girl of his dreams until she has a bit too much champagne, at his prompting... Before you know it, he's lost his job, suit, apartment, car and reputation. It probably wouldn't go that far, but no-one likes to see you get that loose before they even get to know you. If the date sucks, then drink when you get home!
9. DON'T assume that he/she will automatically grab for the check.
I hear different stories on this one, but just to play it safe, no matter who invites whom, it's always a nice gesture to offer to pay for half the check even if you didn't do the asking. I suppose it works like this... If the date is going well, the asker will tell you not to be ridiculous and will grab the check, but if it's yet another date from hell, the asker will probably want the askee to cough up some cash. My personal philosophy is to always offer, as it is a new age and I do have a decent job. If he pays, and I like him, I'll offer something in return like a picnic or an invite for a home-cooked meal.
10. DON'T jump into the sack!
You know, the older I get, the more moralistic I become. Yeah, I know, it's a sign of old age. It scares me, and I've made a few mistakes, but this one I have to stand by. The thing is, I think this rule bothers men far more than women. Because, guys, if we like you a lot, and we see promise, we're going to lean towards wanting to sleep with you at some point. It doesn't mean we've had sexual relations with entire football teams, but we don't lose respect for you like you say you might do for us. The fact that men seem uncomfortable with sleeping with a potential Ms. Right on the first date is something I don't question, that's just the way it is. It's always better to savor anticipation.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Things You Shoudln't Do On The First Date....Vol. 2
Top Ten things NEVER to do on a first date !
1. DON'T wear something you don't feel drop dead gorgeous in.
How much fun can you have if you have to monitor how many bites of food because just one more might be the fatal one that bursts the seams on your skintight dress- like the Hoover Dam? And always having to remember not to raise your arm no matter what happens is no picnic because your last clean shirt has a hole in the armpit and you haven't seen a sewing kit since you last visited your grandmother in Toluca Lake...Why, that would be worse than this run-on sentence.
2. DON'T wear colored contacts on a first date.
One of my guy friends told me a story of a first date with a lovely women who possessed, you guessed it, the most beautiful eyes... He made sure to compliment her eyes more than once, and after that first date, they agreed to see each other again. Sure enough, the next time he saw her, he noticed that her eyes were just an average shade of gray, nothing special, (which was fine), but he had felt so embarrassed praising her on something that wasn't really hers, I guess it stuck with him, and they eventually drifted apart.
3. DON'T mention your last boyfriend/girlfriend six hundred times.
For that matter, don't mention anyone else of the opposite sex if you can help it. I remember one of my worst dates with a guy who had managed to talk about four different women he implied were interested in him at the time. Needless to say, that was the last date he had with me. It just comes off as insecurity. If the other person is on the date with you, chances are they find some value in you. You don't need to point out the fact that you are, in fact, desired by all.
4. DON'T talk about yourself too much.
It's true that one of the best ways you can get some one to pay rapt attention to you is to ask them lots of questions about themselves. It's amazing how well this works. Yet when you're nervous, you might have a tendency to babble on about your life endlessly, as you don't have to think that much to pull that information out of your head. And of course, we all know not to do this when we think about it. I can't remember ever hearing "Gee, she only wanted to talk about ME all night!...how boring!"
5. DON'T talk wistfully about how many children you'd like to have...
I've known men and women alike who do this. I feel it's important to find out if a possible relationship candidate shares your goals, but save it for a few dates down the line, after you've decided that you might actually have the potential to get along with this new person. Just concentrate on having fun for now!
1. DON'T wear something you don't feel drop dead gorgeous in.
How much fun can you have if you have to monitor how many bites of food because just one more might be the fatal one that bursts the seams on your skintight dress- like the Hoover Dam? And always having to remember not to raise your arm no matter what happens is no picnic because your last clean shirt has a hole in the armpit and you haven't seen a sewing kit since you last visited your grandmother in Toluca Lake...Why, that would be worse than this run-on sentence.
2. DON'T wear colored contacts on a first date.
One of my guy friends told me a story of a first date with a lovely women who possessed, you guessed it, the most beautiful eyes... He made sure to compliment her eyes more than once, and after that first date, they agreed to see each other again. Sure enough, the next time he saw her, he noticed that her eyes were just an average shade of gray, nothing special, (which was fine), but he had felt so embarrassed praising her on something that wasn't really hers, I guess it stuck with him, and they eventually drifted apart.
3. DON'T mention your last boyfriend/girlfriend six hundred times.
For that matter, don't mention anyone else of the opposite sex if you can help it. I remember one of my worst dates with a guy who had managed to talk about four different women he implied were interested in him at the time. Needless to say, that was the last date he had with me. It just comes off as insecurity. If the other person is on the date with you, chances are they find some value in you. You don't need to point out the fact that you are, in fact, desired by all.
4. DON'T talk about yourself too much.
It's true that one of the best ways you can get some one to pay rapt attention to you is to ask them lots of questions about themselves. It's amazing how well this works. Yet when you're nervous, you might have a tendency to babble on about your life endlessly, as you don't have to think that much to pull that information out of your head. And of course, we all know not to do this when we think about it. I can't remember ever hearing "Gee, she only wanted to talk about ME all night!...how boring!"
5. DON'T talk wistfully about how many children you'd like to have...
I've known men and women alike who do this. I feel it's important to find out if a possible relationship candidate shares your goals, but save it for a few dates down the line, after you've decided that you might actually have the potential to get along with this new person. Just concentrate on having fun for now!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Guest Blogger Niki from www.lolamack.com
Alright so I'll year those who followed me got a man's perspective. However, as you know there is two signs to every coin and I thought it was only fitting that. I bring out a woman's perspective. That being said, I decided to let my good friend from www.lolamack.com bless my page with some of her knowledge. So enjoy.
So my close friend has asked me to write a little blog about relationships and dating. Of course this is a topic we are all too familiar with. But let’s narrow it down to the nitty gritty, let’s talk about the one thing all females have either encountered in their life time or heard many stories about. Men who cheat on their beloved girlfriends. Yes, we hear about this every day, it surrounds us through friends, music and celebrity life. It is so common that some don’t even see it as a negative impact on relationships. How so? Lets look at Mr. Tiger Woods, he cheated, and while the media takes hold of his life others justify his mistakes as being “normal” because “everyone does it”. So when do we press the brakes on this painful act of selfishness? I say it stops when we as ladies take control of our relationships and stop being so blinded by the truth. At this point you’re probably thinking, “What is she talking about” or” Just get to the point,” Well, it’s simple, a relationship should involve two participating partners that are willing to commit, trust and love each other EQUALLY. Now, ladies if you’re not doing you’re part in the relationship then your man will stray, and find someone who will explore their needs to the correct potential. No one is perfect, but if you are building a foundation with someone, there is no room for errors. What is the key to our missing link? COMMUNICATION. Some enter a relationship not fully understanding what is expected by the other participant, which leads to dysfunction (in more areas then one). So instead of weeping and breaking out the Beyonce songs, let’s tackle the expectations of each other and really be in tune with your partner. For example, in the beginning of the relationship it was bliss, and then things started to change. Yet this is an important aspect most ladies ignore. How do I know he is cheating? Well, we won’t turn into Inspector Gadget, but being straightforward, has his calls died down? Do you see him often? Is he all of a sudden busy? Does he still compliment you? Does he still leave those sweet messages on your voicemail? Do you feel a little void in the relationship? If your answers aren’t so pleasant then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate those expectations and communicate before Mr. Right becomes Mr. IHateYou, Hey I’m just saying…
Signing off, Lola Mack.
www.lolamack.com
So my close friend has asked me to write a little blog about relationships and dating. Of course this is a topic we are all too familiar with. But let’s narrow it down to the nitty gritty, let’s talk about the one thing all females have either encountered in their life time or heard many stories about. Men who cheat on their beloved girlfriends. Yes, we hear about this every day, it surrounds us through friends, music and celebrity life. It is so common that some don’t even see it as a negative impact on relationships. How so? Lets look at Mr. Tiger Woods, he cheated, and while the media takes hold of his life others justify his mistakes as being “normal” because “everyone does it”. So when do we press the brakes on this painful act of selfishness? I say it stops when we as ladies take control of our relationships and stop being so blinded by the truth. At this point you’re probably thinking, “What is she talking about” or” Just get to the point,” Well, it’s simple, a relationship should involve two participating partners that are willing to commit, trust and love each other EQUALLY. Now, ladies if you’re not doing you’re part in the relationship then your man will stray, and find someone who will explore their needs to the correct potential. No one is perfect, but if you are building a foundation with someone, there is no room for errors. What is the key to our missing link? COMMUNICATION. Some enter a relationship not fully understanding what is expected by the other participant, which leads to dysfunction (in more areas then one). So instead of weeping and breaking out the Beyonce songs, let’s tackle the expectations of each other and really be in tune with your partner. For example, in the beginning of the relationship it was bliss, and then things started to change. Yet this is an important aspect most ladies ignore. How do I know he is cheating? Well, we won’t turn into Inspector Gadget, but being straightforward, has his calls died down? Do you see him often? Is he all of a sudden busy? Does he still compliment you? Does he still leave those sweet messages on your voicemail? Do you feel a little void in the relationship? If your answers aren’t so pleasant then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate those expectations and communicate before Mr. Right becomes Mr. IHateYou, Hey I’m just saying…
Signing off, Lola Mack.
www.lolamack.com
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I’m Not Saying She’s A Gold Digger But She Ain’t Messing With No Broke Broke
So you are only now realizing your girlfriend is a gold digger and only likes you for your money. Well my friend that is your own fault. The biggest mistake men with money do is trying to attract women with money. That is like trying to attract a shark with blood they will come but then you are going to be in some serious trouble. A better tactic to getting women is showcasing attractive qualities that you know they may like and then later on letting them see the money you have. By doing this, you have ensured she likes you for you not the money. Too often I see guys taking females out to lavish places on the first date. There are two things wrong this with. 1. She will continue to expect this luxury dating practice especially if this was only the first date. 2. She can easily be more impressed with what you are doing rather than being impressed with you. The reason you don’t use money right form the start is so that you can better assess the type of person she is before you shower her with gifts etc.
Little Money?? Here is a list of cheap date places
1- The beach
If you're the type who likes to see what she's all about right away, then take her to the beach. This is the perfect way to enjoy the sun, show off your new swimsuit and see what she looks like in a bikini. And if all else fails, there is still enough eye candy to keep you busy.
2- Billiards
If you feel like you're the best thing to happen to billiards since the cue-stick after seeing Tom Cruise in The Color Of Money, why not invite her to play some pool with you? This is an interesting setup to secure a second date.You can raise the stakes by saying, "Whoever loses the game must cook supper for the other." And just like that, you've got yourself a second round of love.
3- Mini golf
If you can't tell the difference between a wedge and an iron, maybe miniature golf is the way to go. A cheap and fairly easy "sport," it allows for some physical contact when you have to give her a crash course on how to hold the putter
4- Picnic
Good first date ideas need not involve a second mortgage on your home. It can simply be a quiet get together that allows for stimulating conversation, such as a picnic, which is also a good venue for you to show off your sandwich-making skills and your sangria expertise.
5- Tuesday Night Movie
Try sneaking food in there or try sharing popcorn.
6- Roof terrace
Bringing your date to the highest point in the city can be exhilarating for both of you. Some hotels, restaurants or buildings have roof-top terraces for people to enjoy -- especially at night.
7- Trail Ride
Take bicycles or roller blades, pack a lunch and choose an easy trail ride or wander through some country roads. Stop often when you find something interesting to look at or just to rest and talk
8- Stay Home
Order some Chinese take-out, leave the TV off and spend some really intimate time together.
9- Watching Local Outdoor Plays
Check with your local parks and recreation for the schedule of summer dramatic and musical performances in the parks. Prepare a picnic supper, take in the concert, then go for a quiet stroll after the show.
10- Video Game Night
Dates are all about having fun and enjoying company. There is no better way than playing video games/board games with each other. That can’t be the whole date but add other things to it like a Blockbuster Night.
If you're the type who likes to see what she's all about right away, then take her to the beach. This is the perfect way to enjoy the sun, show off your new swimsuit and see what she looks like in a bikini. And if all else fails, there is still enough eye candy to keep you busy.
2- Billiards
If you feel like you're the best thing to happen to billiards since the cue-stick after seeing Tom Cruise in The Color Of Money, why not invite her to play some pool with you? This is an interesting setup to secure a second date.You can raise the stakes by saying, "Whoever loses the game must cook supper for the other." And just like that, you've got yourself a second round of love.
3- Mini golf
If you can't tell the difference between a wedge and an iron, maybe miniature golf is the way to go. A cheap and fairly easy "sport," it allows for some physical contact when you have to give her a crash course on how to hold the putter
4- Picnic
Good first date ideas need not involve a second mortgage on your home. It can simply be a quiet get together that allows for stimulating conversation, such as a picnic, which is also a good venue for you to show off your sandwich-making skills and your sangria expertise.
5- Tuesday Night Movie
Try sneaking food in there or try sharing popcorn.
6- Roof terrace
Bringing your date to the highest point in the city can be exhilarating for both of you. Some hotels, restaurants or buildings have roof-top terraces for people to enjoy -- especially at night.
7- Trail Ride
Take bicycles or roller blades, pack a lunch and choose an easy trail ride or wander through some country roads. Stop often when you find something interesting to look at or just to rest and talk
8- Stay Home
Order some Chinese take-out, leave the TV off and spend some really intimate time together.
9- Watching Local Outdoor Plays
Check with your local parks and recreation for the schedule of summer dramatic and musical performances in the parks. Prepare a picnic supper, take in the concert, then go for a quiet stroll after the show.
10- Video Game Night
Dates are all about having fun and enjoying company. There is no better way than playing video games/board games with each other. That can’t be the whole date but add other things to it like a Blockbuster Night.
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